A "Holiday" Soapbox

I am probably going to get some grief for this post, but I'm tired. I'm tired of getting emails saying that we should force retailers to use the word Christmas in their advertising. I love the people who are sending me these emails, truly I do, but I disagree with what they are saying.

You see, I am a Mormon, and therefore Christian. I celebrate Christmas. But I also try to respect people of other faiths who don't. When I do send Christmas cards (which isn't often), I send cards that say "Happy Holidays." Not because I don't want to celebrate the birth of Christ, but because I have people on my list who don't. They do however celebrate the holidays. It isn't my job to force my beliefs upon them, it is my job to love them and respect them and their beliefs, just as they respect mine.

To me, Christmas is not about retailers who will or won't say the words "Merry Christmas." And frankly I could care less about the Jerry Falwell’s and Bill O'Reilly's who are saying there is a "War on Christmas." To me, Christmas is about celebrating the birth and the life of Christ. He was, and is not a respecter of persons. He loves all of us, Christian and non-Christian alike. Whatever words we choose to use or whatever faith we choose to practice, Christ loves us unconditionally. Whether we choose to say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays,” Christmas is not in danger. Our beliefs are not in danger, because they are just that, our beliefs. No one can take them from us.

So, to the three of you who I know read this blog, Happy Holidays! For those of you I don’t know about, have a wonderful holiday season, whatever you choose to celebrate.

More than you want to know

I was reading my friends blog the other day and I'm telling you, if you haven't read it, you should. She is funny and charming and very engaging. Anyway, she stole the following idea from a random blog that she read and now I'm stealing it from her. And I'm telling you it is harder than it sounds.

So, here you go. 100 things you never knew you wanted to know about me.

1. I love Art!


2. I don’t like to drive.


3. I think Ice Cream can fix any problem.


4. I wish I could draw.


5. I have watery eyes (thanks to my father).


6. I don’t cry nearly as much as I’d like to.


7. I’m an obsessive reader. If I find a book I like I don’t get anything else done until I’ve read it.


8. I color my hair once a month (otherwise I’d look a whole lot older than I’d like to look).


9. I’m terrible at writing letters, even when it is as easy as sending an email.


10. I love to sing, and will do it whenever I have the chance.


11. I go to church every Sunday.


12. I had a dog, but it was so painful when we had to put him down, I don’t want another one.


13. History fascinates me.


14. I’ve recently started watching Desperate Housewives.


15. My best friend is in Napoleon Dynamite.


16. I’d much rather be behind the camera than in front.


17. Public speaking terrifies me, but I’m actually pretty good at it.


18. When I get nervous I crack jokes.


19. I love to knit.


20. I like to make beaded jewelry.


21. Meeting famous people does nothing for me (unless it is any of the members of U2, then I’d be a mess).


22. I’ve been to Paris.


23. I don’t like Ballet.


24. I’ve blocked out most of High School.


25. I’m terrible at remembering names, but I rarely forget a face.
    
26. I think standing ovations are over rated and I rarely stand with the crowd.


27. I love musical theatre.


28. I like jell-o


29. Sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable for a 35 year old to color.


30. When I’m sick I always want my Mom to take care of me.


31. I was once addicted to caffeine, and kicking that habit is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.


32. I love giving gifts.


33. I wish my birthday was in April instead of February.


34. I think going to a U2 concert is a spiritual experience.


35. My fingernails grow way too fast.


36. I get a pedicure once a month.


37. I get warts on my fingers.


38. I’m shy, but most people don’t believe me when I say that.


39. When I was little I wanted to be a writer...and a hair stylist.


40. I have very little patience.


41. When I’m stressed my eye twitches.


42. The words "The Nutcracker" make me want to slit my wrists.


43. With the exception of the years 1999 & 2000, I haven’t had a Thanksgiving weekend off in 12 years (see #42).


44. Did I mention that U2 is the greatest band in the history of bands?


45. I’m a photographer (though not professionally).


46. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters.


47. I’ve lived in Utah my whole life and never skied.


48. I’m afraid of water.


49. Fall is my favorite season.


50. I know how to start a pretty good fire, though I don’t much like to camp.


51. I was once bit by a rare tick and was sick for a month and a half before the doctor figured out what was wrong with me (I thought I was going to die…literally).


52. I love to take baths.


53. I love the Eiffel Tower.


54. I’m very straight forward (some would call it blunt).


55. One of my biggest pet peeves is milk left out on the counter.
    
56. I’m terrible at math.


57. I’ve been to the Olympics.


58. I don’t like to shop, but I love to spend money.


59. When I get sleepy I get chatty.


60. I don’t like to wear shoes.


61. I own 10 scarves but only 1 coat.


62. I think that coconut is the most disgusting food ever (except the time I didn’t know I was eating it, then it was pretty good).


63. Deer Lake in Washington is my favorite place on earth.


64. I think it is better to see Shakespearean plays than to read them.


65. I have carpel tunnel.


66. I’m lactose intolerant.


67. Stupid people make me crazy, which is kind of a bold statement, because who is to say that I’m not a stupid person.


68. I would love to win the lottery but would never buy a ticket.


69. I’m a Mormon.


70. I love surprises.


71. I own a Magic 8 Ball.


72. I think Wal-mart is evil.


73. I’m a democrat, which is kind of an oxymoron when you read #69.


74. I own three cameras.


75. I make fun of bad theatre (which is sometimes a good thing, but not always).


76. I don’t like yellow mustard, but LOVE Dijon mustard.


77. Making this list is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.


78. I’ve never been to Disney Land.


79. I don't like Country Music.


80. My X-men name is Distract-o (because I’m distract-ed, not distract-ing).


81. I have 5 nieces, and 4 nephews, with one on the way and I LOVE being an Aunt.


82. I love New York City.


83. Spiders scare the crap out of me.


84. I love classical music.


85. Lara Deppe is one of the funniest people I know (and I know some funny people).


86. I think clowns are scary.


87. I’m allergic to Nuts.


88. I can’t sleep if my bedroom door is open.


89. It bothers me when someone opens a door for me.


90. I’m always late, except to Theatre, Movies and Concerts.


91. I’m kind of bossy…ok, that’s an understatement.


92. I’m prone to exaggeration.


93. I’m short.


94. I think the only thing worse than cleaning the toilet is having a dirty toilet.


95. I hate road trips.


96. I’ve never voted for anyone named George Bush (and, yes, I was old enough to vote when the first one ran for a second term).


97. I always keep 2 emails in my inbox so that I can hear the guy say "You’ve Got Mail."


98. I’m listed in the phone book.


99. Old people make me smile


100. I’ve never been to the Ocean.

Note about the following post

It's just a rant. If you are a Wal-Mart shopper, own it, embrace it. I'll still love you!

Evil, thy name is Wal-Mart

In fact, my brother calls them the Whore of all the Earth, and I don't think he's too far off.

My sister Blemily (who is nowhere to be found in the "blogosphere," so I can't link you to her...although, I would LOVE it if she were) sent me an article today called Global Insight Releases New Study on the Impact of Wal-Mart on the U.S. Economy. Now, being the TOTALLY right brained artistic loser that I am, most of what I read sounded a lot like "Blah blah blah blah, Wal-Mart blah blah." But the 5% that I actually use of the left lobe of my brain understood this article to mean, that Wal-Mart hired Global Insight to do a study and then sponsored a conference in order to pat themselves on the back and say "we are single-handedly saving the U.S. Economy." In the words of my sister "It’s amazing what they’ll do to make it look like it’s all OK."

Let me tell you how I see Wal-Mart. First of all, where I live, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Wal-Mart store (including the Neighborhood Markets and Sam's Club). I did a little search on walmart.com and found that there are 20 stores within 50 miles of me, and 11 with 30 miles, and that's not including the 3 Sam's Clubs that I know of, and the new store they are building in Centerville. To me, that's a little excessive. I also see that while the Wal-Mart Super Stores parking lots are constantly buzzing, other similar shopping centers are nearly empty. But I get it, Wal-Mart's prices are low. That is the plain and simple truth. And I completely understand that some people simply can't afford to shop other places.

But...

The real reason I cannot bring myself to shop at the above mentioned Super Store has to do with something that happened nearly 9 ago. My best friend was killed in a crash when a Truck Driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit her head on. What does that have to do with Wal-Mart you ask? Well, recently Wal-Mart lobbied congress to extend the workday for truckers to 16 hours as long as truckers took an unpaid two-hour break. Currently, their workday is limited to 14 hours with only 11 consecutive hours of driving allowed...math may not be my strongest suit, but that sounds like not only a shorter day, but a longer break. And longer breaks mean more rest, and more rest means safer drivers. I personally think that is enough.

I miss my friend, and boycotting Wal-Mart isn't going to bring her back. In fact, I'm lucky, in that I know I will see her again. But a tired trucker broke the hearts of my friend's family, and mine. And I can't support a company that would allow that to happen again, no matter how low their prices are.

Holy cow! That's my second soap box in a row. At least it's a new week.

;-)

One

The One Declaration

"WE BELIEVE that in the best American tradition of helping others help themselves, now is the time to join with other countries in a historic pact for compassion and justice to help the poorest people of the world overcome AIDS and extreme poverty. WE RECOGNIZE that a pact including such measures as fair trade, debt relief, fighting corruption and directing additional resources for basic needs - education, health, clean water, food, and care for orphans - would transform the futures and hopes of an entire generation in the poorest countries, at a cost equal to just one percent more of the US budget. WE COMMIT ourselves - one person, one voice, one vote at a time - to make a better, safer world for all."

Ok, I’ll admit it, the reason I know about the One Campaign, is that I’m a huge U2 fan. But let me tell you part of the reason that I’m a huge U2 fan. Its things like the One Campaign and the fact that their music means something. It isn’t just drivel spewing from talent-free children who have the right PR people to make a name for them. (Did I just use the word drivel in a sentence?) They may be celebrities, but they realize that the price of greatness is responsibility.

So, to all three of you who actually read this blog, go sign this declaration, buy the wrist band, tell all your friends to sign, put a banner on your website (or blog, like the cool animated one up in the corner). So what if you can’t do a whole lot, just do something (and if the only thing you can do is sign your name to the declaration, so be it.) There is too much suffering in this world, we’ve got to carry each other.

And that's my soap box for the week.

How sad is my life?

I just got a trick-or-treater! Yay!!!

And that my friends, is how sad my life is.

I've been sitting here since I got home from work about an hour and 15 minutes ago doing the same thing I've done every Halloween for the last few years, hoping against hope that I'd have trick-or-treaters, and I finally got one. She was cute too, she was a Princess with Shirley Temple curls. I gave her a whole handful of miniature candy bars.

With the exception of the "Blog Plug" post on Saturday, I haven't posted in a while. There is a reason for this...I AM INSANE! Actually, I'm just a work-a-holic and we had a crazy couple of weeks. In fact, it has been so crazy I decided to go to work today dressed as a sane person... trust me, it's a stretch. The sad thing is, that while I was crazy busy at work the rest of my life was a big 'ole snore. So, I don't really have much to write about.

Let's see how long I can write about nothing. It'll be fun.

How about about Halloween? For a long time Halloween was my favorite holiday, I used to get all decked out. But I think the last time I got dressed up was when I hosted a party in college dressed as "Glinda, the good Bitch" ... not such a stretch. Wait! There was the year that I had a party after working a show, I just wore a purple dress and went to the party dressed as a grape. Unfortunately, the past couple of years have been pretty dreary. These days when people ask me what I'm going to be for Halloween (which are pretty much my neices and nephews) I tell them I'm going to be a serial killer or something equally lame so that I don't have to even pretend to dress up.

This year though, I got a trick-or-treater! I made chicken & dumplings (the ultimate comfort food) and watched Sunday's Desperate Housewives on the DVR. And now, since he is almost 3 weeks old, I'm going to go finish the blanket I've been knitting for Max. Once that is done I'll be able to say, "It's been a good day."

Blog, blog will keep us together

I was checking out my brother's blog (with a very pretentious name, "The Transcendent Sycophant") and I saw that he had a link to my other brother's blog ("GrokMart," another very pretentious name, which is odd, since my brothers are the least pretentious people I know), which had a comment from my friend (whose blog name isn't the least bit pretentious, "My Chaos, My Bliss," it's just her reality), and I thought of the Captain and Tenile song.

You know, blogs my be self-indulgent and at times "sycophantic," but just like love and the internet, they keep us together.

Toxic Waste & Tae Kwon Do

Last night I was talking to my roommate/best friend Bloria (the one that is in Napoleon Dynamite). We weren't talking about much, just shooting the "blank" (I'm trying to cut back on my "profanity"), and she said the strangest thing. She said "I haven't been feeling well for the last couple of days and I started to wonder if it was the inordinate amount of pickles I've been eating." Let me tell you, she has been eating barrels full (apparently they are crunchy and allowed on South Beach Diet Phase I).

So, instead of cutting back on the pickles, she decided to test her theory by finishing off the jar that she apparently bought at one of those warehouse stores. You know the stores I'm talking about, where you can buy a can of tuna big enough to feed a third world country? Well, I guess Bloria's little test kind of back fired...literally. In fact the words "toxic waste" were used.

I have got the best friends in the entire world! Not only do they make me happy and make me a better person for having known them, they give me GREAT stories to tell.

Now that you've met Bloria, let me introduce you to my friend Blrin. Blrin is an extremely intelligent, amazingly gifted person with only one flaw that I know of. She doesn't think before she speaks.

For example:
One night several years ago we were in a car with two other friends on our way home from a party. Blrin was in the front seat and my friend Blelly was driving. Out of the blue, Blelly put on her brakes and started yelling at a girl who was crossing the street without "looking both ways." Now, apparently this girl was of Asian descent because Blrin said to Blelly "She can't understand you, you weren't speaking Tae Kwon Do." After hearing this, the other person who was in the car, Blaig, asked Blrin "What?" So, Blrin repeated herself. "Blelly wasn't speaking Tae Kwon Do"

To that, Blaig asked the obvious question, "As opposed to what? Karate?"

"Blaig," Blrin answered, "I didn't know if she was Chinese or Japanese."

And that my friends, I am NOT making up.

3 on 1

No, we aren’t talking basketball, and if your brain is in the gutter, get it out!

Let me explain. On October 13, 1942 my mother was born. Happy Birthday Mom! 62 years later, on October 13, 2004, her 8th grandchild Grace (yup, that’s her real name) was born. Now, today, October 13, 2005 her 9th grandchild, Alexander Maxwell (Max) was born. Yay!!!

In fact, in my family we don’t believe in original birthdays. My oldest niece was born on her Dad’s birthday, my oldest nephew was born the day after my Dad’s birthday, four or five kids later my nephew was born on my Grandma’s birthday, and then came Gracie and Max.

Don’t even get me started on February birthdays. I truly love my sisters-in-law, but three of the four have birthday’s in February. Now, this wouldn’t be a problem if there weren’t already 28,000 birthday’s in February, in just my immediate family. Ok, so you should know that I’m prone to exaggeration…which is a bit of an understatement. In reality my birthday, my brother Blon – yes, I’m back to changing names – and my sister Blemily’s birthdays are all in February. Yes, having a birthday in February sucks, I’ve been trying to change mine for years, but no one will listen to me!

So Happy Birthday Mom, Gracie and Max!

There is a first time for everything

I have been thinking about blogging for quite some time now but I have never had the guts to start. So this morning my friend Becily (again, her name has been changed for her protection) sent me a link to her blog ("My Chaos, My Bliss", you should go there, it's new and very funny...and she doesn't change names). Reading it made me laugh out loud and think that I should just get off my butt and start my own (not that I will ever achieve her level of funny). So here I am.

I don't have a lot to say, hence the title of my blog. So I wonder how long I can write about nothing. In fact just last night I was writing in my journal and I came up on three pages about nothing, it was kind of sad.

So welcome to my first blog.