Monday, October 31, 2005

How sad is my life?

I just got a trick-or-treater! Yay!!!

And that my friends, is how sad my life is.

I've been sitting here since I got home from work about an hour and 15 minutes ago doing the same thing I've done every Halloween for the last few years, hoping against hope that I'd have trick-or-treaters, and I finally got one. She was cute too, she was a Princess with Shirley Temple curls. I gave her a whole handful of miniature candy bars.

With the exception of the "Blog Plug" post on Saturday, I haven't posted in a while. There is a reason for this...I AM INSANE! Actually, I'm just a work-a-holic and we had a crazy couple of weeks. In fact, it has been so crazy I decided to go to work today dressed as a sane person... trust me, it's a stretch. The sad thing is, that while I was crazy busy at work the rest of my life was a big 'ole snore. So, I don't really have much to write about.

Let's see how long I can write about nothing. It'll be fun.

How about about Halloween? For a long time Halloween was my favorite holiday, I used to get all decked out. But I think the last time I got dressed up was when I hosted a party in college dressed as "Glinda, the good Bitch" ... not such a stretch. Wait! There was the year that I had a party after working a show, I just wore a purple dress and went to the party dressed as a grape. Unfortunately, the past couple of years have been pretty dreary. These days when people ask me what I'm going to be for Halloween (which are pretty much my neices and nephews) I tell them I'm going to be a serial killer or something equally lame so that I don't have to even pretend to dress up.

This year though, I got a trick-or-treater! I made chicken & dumplings (the ultimate comfort food) and watched Sunday's Desperate Housewives on the DVR. And now, since he is almost 3 weeks old, I'm going to go finish the blanket I've been knitting for Max. Once that is done I'll be able to say, "It's been a good day."

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Blog, blog will keep us together

I was checking out my brother's blog (with a very pretentious name, "The Transcendent Sycophant") and I saw that he had a link to my other brother's blog ("GrokMart," another very pretentious name, which is odd, since my brothers are the least pretentious people I know), which had a comment from my friend (whose blog name isn't the least bit pretentious, "My Chaos, My Bliss," it's just her reality), and I thought of the Captain and Tenile song.

You know, blogs my be self-indulgent and at times "sycophantic," but just like love and the internet, they keep us together.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Toxic Waste & Tae Kwon Do

Last night I was talking to my roommate/best friend Bloria (the one that is in Napoleon Dynamite). We weren't talking about much, just shooting the "blank" (I'm trying to cut back on my "profanity"), and she said the strangest thing. She said "I haven't been feeling well for the last couple of days and I started to wonder if it was the inordinate amount of pickles I've been eating." Let me tell you, she has been eating barrels full (apparently they are crunchy and allowed on South Beach Diet Phase I).

So, instead of cutting back on the pickles, she decided to test her theory by finishing off the jar that she apparently bought at one of those warehouse stores. You know the stores I'm talking about, where you can buy a can of tuna big enough to feed a third world country? Well, I guess Bloria's little test kind of back fired...literally. In fact the words "toxic waste" were used.

I have got the best friends in the entire world! Not only do they make me happy and make me a better person for having known them, they give me GREAT stories to tell.

Now that you've met Bloria, let me introduce you to my friend Blrin. Blrin is an extremely intelligent, amazingly gifted person with only one flaw that I know of. She doesn't think before she speaks.

For example:
One night several years ago we were in a car with two other friends on our way home from a party. Blrin was in the front seat and my friend Blelly was driving. Out of the blue, Blelly put on her brakes and started yelling at a girl who was crossing the street without "looking both ways." Now, apparently this girl was of Asian descent because Blrin said to Blelly "She can't understand you, you weren't speaking Tae Kwon Do." After hearing this, the other person who was in the car, Blaig, asked Blrin "What?" So, Blrin repeated herself. "Blelly wasn't speaking Tae Kwon Do"

To that, Blaig asked the obvious question, "As opposed to what? Karate?"

"Blaig," Blrin answered, "I didn't know if she was Chinese or Japanese."

And that my friends, I am NOT making up.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

3 on 1

No, we aren’t talking basketball, and if your brain is in the gutter, get it out!

Let me explain. On October 13, 1942 my mother was born. Happy Birthday Mom! 62 years later, on October 13, 2004, her 8th grandchild Grace (yup, that’s her real name) was born. Now, today, October 13, 2005 her 9th grandchild, Alexander Maxwell (Max) was born. Yay!!!

In fact, in my family we don’t believe in original birthdays. My oldest niece was born on her Dad’s birthday, my oldest nephew was born the day after my Dad’s birthday, four or five kids later my nephew was born on my Grandma’s birthday, and then came Gracie and Max.

Don’t even get me started on February birthdays. I truly love my sisters-in-law, but three of the four have birthday’s in February. Now, this wouldn’t be a problem if there weren’t already 28,000 birthday’s in February, in just my immediate family. Ok, so you should know that I’m prone to exaggeration…which is a bit of an understatement. In reality my birthday, my brother Blon – yes, I’m back to changing names – and my sister Blemily’s birthdays are all in February. Yes, having a birthday in February sucks, I’ve been trying to change mine for years, but no one will listen to me!

So Happy Birthday Mom, Gracie and Max!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

There is a first time for everything

I have been thinking about blogging for quite some time now but I have never had the guts to start. So this morning my friend Becily (again, her name has been changed for her protection) sent me a link to her blog ("My Chaos, My Bliss"
, you should go there, it's new and very funny...and she doesn't change names). Reading it made me laugh out loud and think that I should just get off my butt and start my own (not that I will ever achieve her level of funny). So here I am.

I don't have a lot to say, hence the title of my blog. So I wonder how long I can write about nothing. In fact just last night I was writing in my journal and I came up on three pages about nothing, it was kind of sad.

So welcome to my first blog.